Unravel
by mitaharukai
Summary: "How long have I been here? How long has been this darkness surrounding me, consuming me until there wasn't any glimpse of escape from it, nor hope?" Kaneki wonders as he keeps being tortured by Jason/Yamori


**The story focus on Kaneki and his feelings and thoughts as he's being tortured by Jason/Yamori although is slightly different from the anime. Sorry in advance for the gramatical mistakes. Enjoy it!**

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**UNRAVEL**

How long have I been here? How long has been this darkness surrounding me, consuming me until there wasn't any glimpse of escape from it, nor hope?

The last thing you remember was being at the Anteiku's helping people, serving coffees between talks with your friends, the ones who slowly became your family after your life changed so suddenly that didn't even gave you a break to adjust reality, understand it or face it before you were thrown out and forced to learn the art of surviving if you didn't wanted to die in this cruel new world. The deprivation of a common life with food that didn't imply hunting humans or other ghouls to satisfy your hungriness and thirst of blood.

Now... now you're in the middle of somewhere or maybe nowhere, you don't know at this point anymore. You feel stripped out of any sense. Everything it's dark and cold, there's nothing around to be touched except the floor that serves as support for the chair you're chained up to and the only thing you can sense it's a repulsive smell of blood threatening to make you puke.

Suddenly, there's a flicker of light, a rush of air and a strong impact against your stomach that makes you cough blood and go breathless and dizzy. There's a voice saying something you can't figure out, so you just focus on keep breathing although his deep voice is making you shiver with fear, the cruelty in it and the terror of his demoniac laugh unsettles you, making you want to cry. You don't know what's going on, why are you here or where are your friends but this man... this man is far away from being human or ghoul at all, it feels like the demon itself.

As his breath is on your face, that disgusting feeling in the pit of your stomach returns, the smell of blood and death... and suddenly his hands are on you, grabbing you hard to prevent you from moving as if your fear wasn't enough to paralyze you and there's again that demoniac laugh laughing at something. The next thing you know, you _feel_, it's something sticky moving over the side of your face... one? two? maybe more things moving slowly to your ear while you shake in your chair trying to escape, triggering your panic and then it starts to go into it. It's disgusting but it's even more painful, you can't stop crying and yelling hard, wising it to come to an end but it seems like it just started.  
In between your yelling and begging, the man laughs and tells you to start counting backwards before putting something in your fingers, pressing it until your bones crack one by one and repeats it with every single finger of your hands and feet, breaking them, enjoying the cracking sound, your pain and suffering, your desperate crying and agonizing yelling and begging to stop, hoping somebody would come and stop this torture, to save you but he amusingly assures you no one would come, would hear you and then, with a final impact in your chair, he sents you to the ground before everything goes completely dark and silent and consciousness abandons you like everybody else.

Next time you wake up, your hands and feet are free of any chain. There's nothing but yourself laying in the middle of nowhere. You stay there resting, feeling the cold tiles against your cheek reminding you that you're alive, or more likely, barely living in this hell. You stay like that for what it seems an eternity or maybe it was just hours, even minutes, you lost any track of time or space, you can only sense a throbbing pain in your ear like something keeps moving inside of it, the little multiple feet of the centipede moving from side to side inside of your ear and it hurts really bad, it's so repulsive you can't help but throw up and with the little energy left on you, move to lay completely on your back with your eyes closed, trying to block any memory or thought of that torture, of that cruelty, trying to block and ignore the smell of the mixture of puking and blood that surrounds you, that _it's_ on you, whether the blood splattered all over the place is yours or from some other massacre. You shiver at it, at the thought of somebody else having to suffer through it for the entertainment of some crazy man, somebody that lacks of any humanity, a monster then you wonder why it was you.  
Was it because of Rize? Or he was just some sick psycho, interested in you by your smell or taste?... in any case, it doesn't seem like you'd get any answer, with some luck, you can only hope to find some escape from this place.

You try to move but it's impossible, your fingers are broken, your whole body is covered with bruises, wounds and probably some broken bones and you don't have enough strength, neither energy to even drag yourself along the ground, so you just stay there deadly laying on you back, begging for either help or death to come at you and end this pain and suffering.

It's been a day laying there motionless, entering in and out of consciousness before someone approaches to you... it's him again, Jason or Yamori, whichever name he prefers, it's hard to forget the name of your torturer, nor his smell or rough hands grabbing your face to force some food and water down your throat.

\- Can't let my favorite prey to die yet with all this fun going on, can I?

That's what he says and you beg him again to kill you because you can't take it anymore, no more centipedes in your ears, no more broken bones or pain, just death coming to you but he won't give up so easily, this is a twisted game and you're his favorite prey and ghoul to torture until he can kill you and eat you, he wants you to feel what they did to him for years. He was a good boy forced to became strong and ended being a monster, a fucking psychopath and every time he starts torturing you, a part of you dies, a part of your humanity disappears and you start again to block any emotion: the sadness, the pain, the hope... until there's only a big hole of emptiness inside of you.

Every time he leaves, you curl up and cry hard wishing for everything to be different, to stop, to leave behind this nightmare and go back to your common life with your friends, family, making coffee and studying, to go back to those happy days filled with laugh, hoping everything would be okay again and somebody would come to save you but as what seems days passing slowly by, those thoughts, that hope, are more and more crushed and turned into dust that flies freely over this hell. There was nothing left out there waiting for you but an immense and deep darkness that has been surrounding and consuming you all this time. The cold air blows and cuts your face or freeze your laying body, the eternal hopeless where your anguish yelling get lost asking for somebody to come for you, to help you, to guide you out of this endless darkness... to save you from yourself and this feeling of emptiness that it's taking over you and threatens to turns you into a complete monster with no feelings, but there's no answer except a deafening silence driving you crazy. So crazy that the voices in your head are taking control of you, of your body, moving you towards the exit and that's how you let her take control of you, that's how you let Rize give you her strength turning you into a complete ghoul, a monster trying to survive and get revenge for all the atrocities Yamori or Jason has been doing to you...

Something changes in you, not sure if for the better or worse but it surely gives you the strength you need to face him, to fly, twist and turn, beating the crap of out him, to release your rinkaku and pierce him with it again and again as you force him to count backwards until finally killing him in the cruelest possible way and walk away freely from the prison you were in more ways than the literal one.

As you leave that place, your humanity and the way you used to be behind, you find Touka resting against a tree. She came to save you but she was too late and now the best thing you can do it's to disappear, not wanting her to see you like this, to know this new you but remember the way you were, the happy, naive and willing to help Kaneki and not this monster without feelings you turned into and that would only hurt her...


End file.
